| “ | Cause I'm awesome! | „ |
| ~ Red's Catchphrase |
Redward, or Red is one of the main protagonists of the adult animated series Dick Figures, alongside his best friend Blue.
He acts as the opposite of Blue in nearly every way. He's a sex-obsessed, immoral, party maniac who's never calm, who almost never takes things seriously. He wears a backwards red cap and lives with his best friend and roommate in their apartment. He is extremely psychotic most of the time except for several occasions where he shows moments of kindness.
His Evil Ranking[]
What Makes Him Heinous?[]
In General[]
- He's incredibly crime excessive and he's committing crimes in most episodes, which usually includes mass murder.
- He's very ungrateful and abusive towards both Blue and Pink with him getting them killed in multiple episodes but mostly Blue in that regard.
- He's generally homocidal and abusive towards nearly everyone and show very little care for anyone even his loved ones at times.
Season 1[]
- In “A Bee or Something”, he didn’t care about Blue's breakup with Stacy despite knowing they were in a relationship for a long time.
- In “Flame War”, he killed a mass amount of people to get the last copy of a game and he then explodes the entire building.
- In “Steakosaurus”, Red wants to eat a dinosaur so he gets a time machine and uses it while being fully aware could forever alter the course of history. He also kills every single dinosaur in the world just to eat them.
- In “Trouble Date”, he ruins Blue’s date with Pink and later has sex with Stacy in public while saying that they should go home and have sex in Blue’s bed while setting the place on fire.
- In “Kitty Amazing”, when being asked a question by a cop he shows them kitty amazing which he is fully aware can kill people by looking at him.
- In “Attack of the Pwns”, Red eats Blue’s burrito despite blue liking frozen burritos just to piss him off. He tries to kill blue while using an army of spaceships that are all operated by people. Red then laughs at the fact that everyone in Blue’s fleet is dead while not caring about the death of his own. Nearly kills Blue after taking his lightsaber. While he does go with Blue’s plan to escape, it was purely self-serving so that he would live. Leaves Blue for dead in space at the end of the episode.
Season 2[]
- In “Zombies & Shotguns”, Red only kills some of the zombies because Blue tells him that they’re gonna eat his chips. When Blue tells him to get a chainsaw to defend each other from the zombies, he uses them to open a bag of chips. Kills Broseph even though he knew that they weren’t zombies.
- In “Camp Anarchy”, as a kid Red bullied Blue by tying him up to a tree and hitting with a football. While Red is one of the camp counselors, he teaches the kids horrible survival skills such as bombing a lake full of fish with TNT, blowing up birds with TNT, setting up a fire with TNT. After hearing about bigfoot, he kidnaps them with the kids he taught and tied them to a tree and forced Blue to do exactly what Red did to him as a kid but instead by hitting bigfoot with a bat while taking sadistic pleasure in this by happily sighing and saying “camp is great”.
- In “Butt Genie”, Red ruins him and Blue’s wish and wishes the genie to shut up while knowing that he can’t grant wishes while in this state which he doesn’t care about at all. It's also implied that Red's wish was going to be world domination.
- In “Lord Tourette’s Syndrome”, Red kills an entire church of people.
- In “Fang Angels”, Red goes to jail and kills someone with a single punch in the shower. After escaping prison, he then robs a bank.
- In “Captain Red Rum & The Pina Colada Armada”, Red attacks and sinks another pirate ship full of women including Pink which kills them because they didn’t show their boobs. Shoots Lord Tourettes because they turned into a real person after being a mermaid and was a boy mermaid.
- In “Y U So Meme?”, Red plays a guitar and sets the entire building on fire along with destroying him and Blue's apartment with a bat and fireworks then shitting on Blue’s bed. Seeks vengeance by calling fat ugly girl to demoralize Jason (although Jason was a complete dick to him and blue). He punched blue in the face for no reason after blue apologized and didn’t care at all while laughing about it.
- In “Sex Marks the Spot”, Red pulls Blue into an adventure for “treasure” that has Blue get injured in multiple different ways while Blue needs to use the bathroom incredibly badly. Red kills three people but this was out of self-defense. This treasure was all a ploy to hide Red’s porn. Red looks at Blue when he’s pooping after Blue tells him that he can’t go while he’s looking and then surprises him at the last second for the fun of it.
- In “We’re Cops”, Red steals a cop car and right after doing this he proceeds to threaten Blue with murder for his own pleasure. Red kills a hooker while in the cop car. Red along with blue fake being a cop so they can get free stuff. Red tells a cop on the phone about a bank robbery. Red then does a bank robbery and threatens someone to kill someone with a gun if they don’t tell him where the money is. Lies about being cops in front of multiple other cops.
Season 3[]
- In “Modern Flame War 3”, Red, while searching for the perfect boobs, crashed the internet around the world which resulted in the death of someone. Red along with Blue and Jason go to Cybertime Systems which is likely a governmental area due to it housing the internet of the world and murders all of the people there and while Blue realizes that they were just technicians, Red excuses it by saying that they were technicians of “evil”. Blue begs for Red to not take the last 1% of the internet for himself, Red doesn’t listen and is only out for himself. Red also attempts to kill Stacy even if he didn’t recognize her but it still stays consistent with his threatening with a deadly weapon. After colliding with Stacy for sex, he causes a massive explosion that is seen from outer space which destroys everything in its radius.
- In “Planet Asshole”, Red and Blue humiliate two innocent aliens for their differences. Kicks Blue in the stomach for a joke.
- In “Chug-A-Chug-A-Brew-Brew”, Red threatens a bartender for not giving him alcohol. Red then kills everyone in the bar along with shooting someone who was trying to escape. Forces Blue to go along with his venture to get more alcohol from a delivery. Along with this he didn’t care at all about Blue dying and was just happy about getting more to drink.
- In “Brain Switch”, Red ruins Blue’s body after he failed to get Blue the job so they could pay the bills.
- In “Kung Fu Winners”, Red doesn’t care about the fact that Blue was beaten up and Pink was kidnapped and only wanted to get Chow Ming. Red killed a mass amount of ninja but this was out of self-defense. Red doesn’t share some of the last bowl of Chow Ming with Blue even though it was the last bowl there.
Season 4[]
- In “Losing Streakers”, Red ties Blue up to the top of the car to forcibly drive him somewhere he doesn’t wanna go to. Red spends the last amount of money that he and Blue have on gambling. Red forcibly makes Blue chug gasoline after holding him down. Red runs out in the street naked. Red leaves his slot machine son because he couldn’t pay for child support.
- In “Taco Tuesday”, Red runs over multiple people and then puts them in the back of the car without any remorse at all and is only worried about the tip. Red blows up Blue’s car and multiple people inside a building and then eats the pizza made with his own blood and napkins.
- In “Ocho Muerte”, Red doesn’t feed his pet octopus in a week and doesn’t care that it’s gonna kill Pink. At the end of the episode, Red then throws a knife onto Blue’s head because Blue said Red had a knife in his head.
- In “The Red Devil”, after learning that the truck that they were robbing with two other people was full of burritos, he kills the people that they were with and steals the car.
- In “Freshman 15”, Red kidnaps Blue to go to a house party by hitting him with a baseball bat. He kills Broseph for no reason after he compliments him. Red doesn’t care at all about Blue being dead after taking expired medicine.
Season 5[]
- In “Hardcore Chore”, Red goes to the bank and threatens everyone there with a gun, when Red is giving the deposit, he threatens the bank teller by taking a random hostage at gunpoint. He then goes to the grocery store and tells everyone in the store to give him groceries or else he’ll shoot them. He drives Blue’s car into a lake to wash it. He kills Blue’s fish and Mr. Dingleberry.
- In “Snowjob”, Red tricks Pink into giving him a snowjob which is her breathing air on his dick. Along with this, he unintentionally sets Blue on fire after Blue got him out of the ice but he didn’t care about Blue being on fire.
- In “Das Vidiamond”, Red doesn’t care about someone killing themselves in front of him. Red steals a police car, flies a plane on fire out of control and drinks all of the Russian Mafia’s vodka only sad about the bear dying.
- In “Trash God”, Red is treated like a god by ants and sentences Blue to the worst death imaginable and shrinks him to a smaller size. Red then eats Blue at the end of the episode as a punishment.
Dick Figures Movie[]
- Red mistreated Blue throughout their entire school life and time through college by choosing a random person over him and slapping him after Red gets a bad grade from cheating.
- Red was eavesdropping on Blue during his private time in his room.
- Red talks Blue into going on an adventure that risks both of their lives instead of letting Blue get Pink a normal gift.
- Red abandons Blue to go on a booze cruise forcing Blue to stay in a crate for the whole trip.
- Red only beats up the kids in kindergarten that were going to kill Blue to impress the girls at school and had no interest in saving Blue’s life which makes this act completely selfish and self-serving.
- Red basically admits to Blue’s face that he was never Blue’s friend and basically abused Blue for their entire friendship which lasted 20 years which is where Blue breaks off their friendship.
- After being set on fire, Red goes into the forest and sets the entire place on fire but later when he is fine Red doesn’t show any remorse and doesn’t care about the fact that they could be burned alive. Red only shows remorse because of it being burrito or boobie island and not the fact that Blue could have died.
- Red abandons Blue at his time of need as soon as they get home to go on a party bus with girls and alcohol.
- Red and Blue's ultimate high five killed thousands of people.
What Makes Him Inconsistent?[]
- Dick Figures is a black comedy series that is played for laughs and Red is no exception.
- He is on & off as he has done heroic actions and has even played a part in Lord Takagami's defeat in the Dick Figures movie.
- Red genuinely cares about Blue and shows jealousy in “Y U So Meme” because Blue hangs out with Jason along with saving his life in the Dick Figures movie.
- In all of the episodes where Red dawns his batman persona, he is completely heroic.
- Red has shown to have standards as he showed genuine disgust of Lord Tourette’s story in “Real Dudes Bros Night Man” when he fucked a bear and ate its limbs and while the validity of this story is ambiguous it showed that Red has standards regardless.
- Red redeems himself in the final episode of the series after getting married to his loving wife, Fat Ugly Girl.
External Links[]
- Red on the Villains Wiki
- Red on the Heroes Wiki
- Red on the Dick Figures wiki