Chairman Chair

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Inconsistently Heinous
Full Name	Chair (full name unknown)
Alias	Chairman Chair
Origin	SCRATCH IT & WANK
Allies	Dr. Fairy (formerly)
Powers / Skills	Wealth Manipulation Charisma Usage of advanced machinery Ownership
Goals	Build a new penis to shove up his butt (succeeded) Defeat Scratch It and Wank (failed)
Worst Actions	Mutilating several citizens' penises and using it to build a new one, knowing that this would risk and endanger several planets. Attempting to rape all of Novalis.
Kill Count	Several (implied) Incalculable (endangered)
Crimes	Mass mutilation Mass murder Mass rape (all implied) Usurpation Universal endangerment Conspiracy Fraud
Type of IH	Perverted Businessman

“	Chairman Chair: Hello citizens of ... (shows a picture of planet Novalis), I have a problem, I have a small penis, which you couldn't possibly understand. My ass has become so polluted that I am no longer able to come, but I Chairman Chair have a solution. We are constructing a pristine new penis using components available, so what does this mean to you, you might ask? Using highly sophisticated technology, which you couldn't possibly understand, we will be extracting a large portion of your citizens' penises and adding it to my overpopulated ass. Unfortunately, this change of mass into my ass will cause my cock to explode into a flaming ball of poisonous cum, and this flaming ball of poisonous cum will drift into your planet where it will poison your citizens. Of course sacrifices, which you couldn't possibly understand must be made, thank you for your cooperation. Director: Cut! Chairman Chair: And if you don't like it you can kiss my ass!	„
	~ His plan to remove citizens' penises while knowingly risking the lives of many.

Chairman Chair is a major antagonist of the SCRATCH IT & WANK YouTube Poop series, a parody of the Ratchet & Clank franchise. Serving as the main antagonist of SCRATCH IT & WANK 1, and the secondary antagonist of SCRATCH IT & WANK 13 - THE MOVIE.

He is a parody of Chairman Drek from the original Ratchet & Clank video game, and a perverted businessman who is insecure about the size of his penis, and having a polluted ass, and plans to solve this problem by creating a new penis that he will insert into his own butt which will be created by removing several citizens' penises.

He is voiced by Kevin Michael Richardson (via spliced audio clips) in SCRATCH IT & WANK 1, who also voiced Shredder in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012), Deus Ex Machina in The Matrix, and The Lumberjack Ghost in Gravity Falls. And by Paul Giamatti (also spliced audio clips) in SCRATCH IT & WANK 13 - THE MOVIE.

His Evil Ranking

What Makes Him Heinous?

In General

• While he mentions to have a few insecurities such as having a small penis, a polluted ass, and having been implied to be abused by his father in the past as he mentions that he lived under his father's butt, none of this makes him sympathetic nor does it make him tragic because of his actions, as he goes far and beyond and commits several atrocities that are too petty to justify.
• While he seems to have some sort of affinity towards his father as he mentions him when he achieves his goal of building a new planet, this could just be him boasting about his own ego as nothing indicates that he truly cares about his father, he also could have been one of the individuals he mutilated during his mass penis removal. Not to mention he possibly never cared that he endangered various lives to get here and this would probably upset his father.

SCRATCH IT & WANK

• He plans on creating a new penis using advanced technology that will extract several citizens' penises, and plans to insert it into his ass. He also claims that this will cause his own cock to explode into a ball of poisonous cum which will spread into several planets and poison the citizens, which shows that he is aware that he is endangering countless lives regardless.
  • It is also implied that he mutilated several citizens' penises to create the new one, and also implies that many of them died during the process.
• He tells the citizens that if they don't like his plan they can kiss his ass.
• He tells a ruler of one of the planets that he has no penis, after refusing to meet his request of having his citizens move when they remove several citizens' penises, and tells him to take his citizens' penises, form a line behind him and fuck his ass.
• He informs several people to stop Scratch It and Wank to prevent him from interfering in his plans to build the new penis.
• He tells the viewers to fuck off at the end of the video. Not only that but he suffers no consequences for his actions and fully gets away with them in the end.

SCRATCH IT & WANK 13 - THE MOVIE

• He rapes Dr. Fairy when the lights turn out, not caring about how Dr. Fairy felt uncomfortable.
• He abuses and scolds Zed for very petty reasons.
• He captures Scratch It and reveals his plan to rape all of Novalis to him.
• While he tells Stanley to stop masturbating, it was likely because he was disgusted and not because he had standards.
• While he worked with Dr. Fairy, their relationship was purely pragmatic.
• While he gets killed by Dr. Fairy, it does not make him a scapegoat as he deserves it for his perverted actions and it's not played for sympathy.

What Makes Him Inconsistent?

• He is a parody of his original counterpart coming from a YouTube Poop, which instantly disqualifies him from being PE or NPE. Not to mention SCRATCH IT & WANK is ultimately a black comedy and YTP parody of Ratchet & Clank that never takes itself seriously at all.